Category Archives: Miami

$49 Million 8 Bedroom Coral Gables Mansion

So you won the mega lottery. Your rich uncle left you his oil well. You caught Bin-Laden. We don’t how you got all that money, we just want to show you how to spend it.

Obviously you’ve given your fair share to charity. You’ve bought all your family members cars and cribs. You donated heavily to The Haute Spot for giving you hours of entertainment. In other words, you’ve taken care of your priorities. So now it’s time to treat yourself. Now it’s time to take care of numero uno.

Sure you can go out and buy a Ferrari. Sure you can go out and get yourself a new watch. Sure you can finally take that trip to Italy you’ve always wanted. But nothing says “I F**Kin Made It” quite like a Miami mansion that even Tony Montana himself would be jealous of.

We just went from 6 to 12

We just went from 6 to 12

Nestled in the heart of Coral Gables (Miami’s Jungle of Luxury) lies an estate begging for scantily clad models partying in the pool, expensive german, italian, and swedish engineering parked out front, and a boat (see: yacht) parked in the back that would make T-Payne drop his auto-tuner.

Ivy League

Ivy League

Gentlemen we would like to introduce to you- The Nebuchadnezzar (That’s not what’s it called, but that’s what we would call it). But with 8 bedrooms, 12 bathrooms, two floors, a bar, 20,000 of sq feet, a basketball court, game room, 6 car garage, unrestricted ocean access, and 3 of the best acres of land money can buy- you can call it Eden for all we care.

Who needs a vacation, when this is your backyard

Who needs a vacation, when this is your backyard

Yeah, just because.

Yeah, just because.

The gym you'll never use. If you don't change the T.V. We'll judge you.

The gym you'll never use. If you don't change the T.V. We'll judge you.

For all your Ruth's Cris Take Out

For all your Ruth's Cris Take Out

A kitchen this grand, deserves hiring a chef

A kitchen this grand, deserves hiring a chef

A fireplace? In Miami? Sure, why not.

A fireplace? In Miami? Sure, why not.

Never mind the ocean views

Never mind the ocean views

I've seen a room like this before. Yeah. It was in Versailles. It was Napoleon's. You might have heard of him

I've seen a room like this before. Yeah. It was in Versailles. It was Napoleon's. You might have heard of him

Really? Was that really necessary?

Really? Is that all really necessary?

Hotel Lobby? No just my hallway.

Hotel Lobby? No just my hallway.

Your sports cove isn't complete with African War Memorabilia

Your sports cove/pool room isn't complete without some African War Memorabilia.

Ok so our friends at Hummingbird Financial ran some numbers and assuming that even if you put the standard 20% down ($10 Million!), and had a perfect credit score (you better), you still would need to pay a heart-wrenching $221,630 a month! For 30 years!

Here’s to dreaming:

You better invite us over for tea

You better invite us over for tea

BUY IT 11 Casuarina Concourse, Coral Gables, FL $49,000,000

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Filed under Jet Set, Miami, Real Estate

Miami Spice: A Food Lover’s Disney World

It’s that time of the year again gentlemen. Where your office “brown bagger” becomes a connoisseur of fine dining, and your foodie becomes a food snob- we are talking of course about Miami Spice. A phenomenal idea where Miami’s top restaurants create an exclusive 3-course menu prepared for this coveted event.

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Every meal includes a choice of appetizer, main course, and dessert. All for the unabashedly low price of $22 for lunch, and $35 for dinner. I’ve spent more money at Flannigan’s on the “Joe’s Meals Deal” than I would have at these world-class restaurants. 

These are restaurants that would normally charge $40 just for an entree, mind you. 

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You could easily scratch off 4 restaurants from your restaurant list for little more than a Benjamin. A feat that would easily cost you double that, if not more, if attempted outside of the months of August or September. 

One look at the list of participating restaurants and it’s easy to see why this is such a great event.

Notables:

The Capital Grille

Devito’s

Hakkasan 

Loftin’s at the Versace Mansion

Meat Market

Azul

Morton’s Steakhouse

The Restaurant at the Setai

 

Are you convinced yet?

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Take a look for yourself, we guarantee some of the names will shock you. Browse the menu’s, book a table, and enjoy your three-course meal for the price of a drink at Barton G. 

 

What recession?

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Filed under Food, Food and Spirits, Jet Set, Miami

Golf for $4 at PGA Doral Resort?!?! What a discount.

doral_lmonsterHome the Blue Monster, several PGA tournaments, and some of the most beautiful courses on the planet, the Doral golf resort is the stuff of legends. Unfortunately, it also comes with a price tag to match ($200+). So like that guy who knows all the hook-ups, we at THS are going to spill the goods on how we golf there for $4. 

DoralGreatWhite18_bigNow we must warn you. This technique isn’t for everyone. It requires a certain Je Ne Sais Qua of a man who is unshakably confident and able to “act the part.” But we have been doing it for years and have only been caught once, and that’s only because we were being reckless (see below).

overviewOk so here’s what you do.

1.) Drive  and park your car in guest parking ($4 for two hours and the only time you will use your wallet). 

2.) Walk over to the golf carts and strap up your golf bag and drive off. If there’s an attendant there just ask “Grab any cart?” and they’ll always respond “Yes Sir, any cart you’d like.” 

3.) Cart yourself over to the driving range. In most golf courses, you have to pay for a bucket of practice balls, but when you’re paying an absorbent amount of money just for a round, Doral throws in the practice balls for free. Every tee will have a giant bucket filled to the brim with golf balls. Feel free to use as many as you’d like while you warm up, and hell if you’re feeling extra bold, stuff a few into your club covers for later. 

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4.) When you’re done warming up, drive onto the course and find a hole that isn’t being used. Word of advice, stay away from the Blue Monster, because not only will it swallow most of your balls, you’re more likely to get caught. We personally use the Red Course as it’s considered the “Kiddie Course” (still world class standards) but it is less closely monitored. Stay away from hole 1 and 10 as they are the closest to the club house (how we got busted).

5.) If you do get caught, act innocent, foreign, stupid and say “Oh we just moved into the neighborhood and thought we could just grab a cart and go.” They’ll just scold you lightly for your feigned stupidity and let you drive your cart back for booking. Where you can just walk back to your car laughing that you just enjoyed one of the best courses in the world for under a lincoln. 

Just in case: If they ask for your address say “We just moved, I haven’t even memorized it yet.” 

And thats it gentlemen. Bring a 12 pack of beer, your favorite stogie, and live the good life. 

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You’re welcome.

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Filed under Jet Set, Miami

Fairchild Tropical Garden

If you are looking for a slice of Brazilian Rain Forest in the middle of South Florida, there’s no better place to look than Fairchild Tropical Gardens. Lush with greens, lakes, iguanas, and butterflies, the garden is a paradise of flora and fauna.

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Normally $20 per adult, for the month of August, you can go free on Sundays. You have to specifically ask for this special or they will still try to charge you. Bring a blanket, a picnic basket full of goodies, mosquito repellent (trust us), and your best bubbly and pretend like you’re adam and eve in this secluded paradise.

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Who knows. She may even take a bite out of your apple.

Fairchild Tropical Garden 10901 Old Cutler Road, Miami, Fl 305.667.1651

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Michael Capponi Launches Mondrian Hotel Bayside Brunch and Pool Party

I know it seems like we are favoring the Mondrian here in Miami, but man are they coming up with some good stuff. Despite it’s beautiful weather, women, and beaches, Miami has yet to solidify a stellar pool party. We saw glimpses of hope last year at the Shore Club run by legendary South Beach Promoter Hassan, but unfortunately, word got out fast and the crowd went from European to Euro-trash in a matter of months.

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Well it’s been almost a year and we finally a have a new contender– Launching this Sunday, July 19th is Mondrian Sundays at Asia de Cuba thrown by Miami Super-mogul Michael Capponi.

Watch as people arrive by boat or Ferrari while you bask in this beautiful paradise we call Miami. Complete with bayside pool, oversized cabana beds with privacy shades for bottle service, red victorian era furniture backdropped against gigantic white couches perfect for you and all your friends.

The brunch begins within the indoor dining room and spills out onto the sun-kissed patio deck. This party haven comes complete with a state-of the art sound system and live DJ to make sure the champagne sipping women will have something to dance to ( you will, of course, be what they dance with).

So bring your swimsuit, aviators, and your abs that you’ve been working on all year for (right?) and enjoy the closest thing to a Jay-Z video you will ever experience. That is of course unless you are Jay-Z, in which case- let’s talk.

On the all-you-can-eat menu: Asian Style Cured Salmon With Avocado Crème Fraiche, homemade Guava PastelitosHuevos y Bacalao (poached eggs on salt cod cakes), Grilled Mojo Rubbed 12 oz. Strip Steak With Miso Poached Eggs, and dessert-table treats like Lemongrass Flan and Café con Leche Cheesecake.

RSVP HERE, 1100 West Ave Miami Beach, Fl 33139

Sundays starting July 19, 12pm-12am, buffet $42 served until 4pm

EDIT: Apparently, this party is very calm. It’s more St. Tropez than Ibiza. While stationed in a beautiful location, noone was dancing, rather preferring to lay out and soak up the sun. Were not saying this is bad, just don’t expect to see “Rehab” of Miami.

EDIT: Show up early (12:15ish) and find metered parking because the valet is $24. Once you get in though, the service is unbelievable. We were treated like royalty.

You can reserve a seat for a $40 consumption fee which basically means you have to spend $40 worth of food and drinks- which shouldn’t be too hard considering how delicious the food and drinks look. Or you can just try and sit down on one when noone is looking. It’s still empty enough that you can get away with that. 

There was still no party, but it was a great alternative to drinking sun at the beach.

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Filed under Jet Set, Miami

Discount at the Mondrian Hotel in Miami

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Who said you needed to deal with peanuts and baggage claim to go on a vacation. Why not treat yourself to a staycation in the beautiful city of Miami. There are a ton of great deals right here in our own backyard (sorry national readers, tell us where you live and we’ll find discounts for you too).

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If there’s one good thing about this economy, it’s lowered prices on everything. So stay at the Mondrian on Miami beach for only $345 a night using the special code below. This seems like a lot but when you realize you’ll be getting a free room upgrade, 25% off all spa treatments, and a private poolside cabana for each day of your stay- it suddenly seems more reasonable.

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And if that wasn’t enough, they threw in complimentary bottle of champagne just to sweeten the deal.

2190271_38_bThe hotel is has great reviews, great location, and amazing restaurants. Take advantage of this offer, before everyone else does.

2190271_40_bBOOK IT Now until New Year’s, use code PKMOFN to book, 1100 West Ave, 305-514-1500

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Filed under Jet Set, Miami